Cishet Privilege- And how To Use It

We may have heard a lot of talk around us, buzzing that someone is “privileged.” That word may have been directed towards us with an additional sentence, ‘Check your privilege.’

So, what is this “privilege” all about, especially in the cisheteronormative (cishet) context?

In simple terms, “privilege” means “advantage”. This advantage is very special and only offered to a particular group by our society. When we are a cishet (cisgender and heterosexual) person, we are automatically considered “normal” and are allowed to live our lives normally. This kind of ordinary life is not afforded to people of different gender identities and sexual orientations, and hence it is considered a “cishet privilege”.

What are these privileges?

The advantages of being cisgendered and heterosexual can mainly be seen in the fact that all of society– including ourselves– sees this as the norm. Cishet people never have to face others prying into their relationships, asking them how they can have children, telling them that they will grow out of it, or outright hating their existence. Cishet people also don’t have to hear questions about ‘what’s in their pants’, get kicked out of their preferred bathrooms, explain their gender, or be dismissed as ‘having a mental illness’. Moreover, cishet people don’t have to fight to marry whom they love, and don’t have to live in fear of being attacked every day. They can gain social and economic advantages from the government, from their family, from their friends, and from their co-workers.

Underneath it all, cishet people don’t have to tread every step with caution in life. While they will definitely have their own struggles, they can certainly not count the repercussions of their gender and sexuality as one of them.

What to do with this privilege?

The first step– acknowledge it.

We can easily be compelled to feel bad and guilty because of privilege, but that is not the goal of making someone aware of it. It is to make sure that we understand how much privilege, and thus, power we have.

The next step to take is learn in what manner and form we have that privilege. Observing it in everyday situations is a good way to start. This observation will extend to prejudices, rules laid down by institutions, the language that people use, and so on and so forth. Expanding our view of the world is important in understanding oppression born out of privilege.

What’s next? We need to change ourselves. Consciously monitoring and fixing our words and actions to be mindful and inclusive is necessary. For example, we cannot use someone’s correct pronouns when they are around but misgender them when they are somewhere else. Similarly, we cannot simply wear shirts saying ‘love is love’ during Pride Month and not concern ourselves with everyday homophobia that someone we know could be facing, long after June is over.

And after we have changed ourselves? We take a public stand. It becomes our responsibility to take that stand because our privilege allows others to listen to us. We correct people when they misgender trans folks, we stop tolerating queerphobic jokes, we stop buying from companies that support anti-LGBTQIA+ laws. We write about this oppression if we are good at writing, or we draw and sing about it. We must absolutely make sure that our voice is heard. It will likely be risky, but it will be worth it for all our queer friends who handle the risks everyday.