Aromantic Identity and the Myths Around It

Written by Hanna Nasim

Happy Aromantic Awareness Week! 

An Aromantic, or Aro, is a person who experiences little to no romantic attraction to others. This attraction, like all others, occurs on a spectrum and includes Demiromantic, Grey-Romantic, and more. 

Not everyone experiences aromanticism the same way; there is an indefinite list of labels people use to describe themselves, and the aromantic spectrum encompasses multiple identities and experiences that some may identify with, such as Demi-romantic (feels romantic attraction only after the development of an emotional connection), Greyromantic (experiences romantic attraction under specific circumstances), Lithoromantic (can feel romantic attraction but doesn’t need or want them to be reciprocated) etc.

Aromanticism, like all other sexualities, has a broad spectrum, and it is often misunderstood or brushed off by people. It is filled with myths that need to be busted, and what better time than Aro awareness week to smash them up?

Some assume Aro people cannot be in relationships or enjoy physical touch/affection; in reality, Aro people can choose to be in non-traditional relationships (ex: queerplatonic, relationships without romantic elements etc), and they can enjoy different forms of physical connection because physical affection is not inherently romantic!

Another myth is the belief that Aro people are cold and lonely, and I cannot stress this enough: Life is more than romance, and attraction does not always mean happiness. Aromantic people are of course capable of feeling platonic love and forming relationships with friends, family or pets, aromanticism is about romantic attraction only. 

Aromanticism is NOT the same as asexuality. Asexuality is about sexual attraction and are two separate types of identities. Aromantic people may use additional labels to describe their sexual attraction, and ace people may use additional labels to describe their romantic attraction. Sexuality is a spectrum and cannot be put into a box!

ALL AROMANTICS ARE QUEER: Cishet aromantics, alloaros, partnering Aros, arofluxes, demiromantics, queer platonic aros and every other aromantic identity IS VALID. Every aspect of aromanticism is queer and deserves to be respected and celebrated. 

Aromanticism and Asexuality are still treated as issues to be fixed in most therapy settings, and Aroace people struggle with having their sexualities acknowledged in the medical and psychological field. Aroace conversion is almost normal in most psychiatric institutions and getting told by the queer community that aroace oppression isn’t real alienates the aromantic community from the rest of the queer world. 

Labels and identity are unique and it is important to acknowledge them. Aromanticism is often a political stance against heteronormative society, and all Aro experiences are worth sharing and understanding. As a queer community we must recognise the entire gender and sexuality spectrum, and only then can we move about trying to make the rest of the world recognise it too. 

The A in LGBTQIA is not just for Ally, but also for Aromantics and Asexuals. It is a triple AAA battery and you better believe it!

Here is a fun collection of articles, memes and art from the Aroace community I have collected for your perusal. 

Happy AroAce Week!!

Aromantic Book Recs

Tips to Avoid Aro/Ace Conversion Therapy

Having a Ponder about being Aromantic (comic)

A Vague list of Aro-Specs